May one get to know a future spouse before the wedding?

Yes, this is permitted if it happens in the presence of the family and the two are properly introduced to each other. Dates alone together, however, are a different matter altogether and are not permitted in Islam.

Anyone who wants to marry naturally wants to know who they will share their life with. Islam has no objection to this. It is entirely permissible for the two to get to know each other and talk together before they decide.

What matters is the setting. The conversation takes place in the presence of the elders of the family. The two are introduced and can talk calmly, ask questions and form an impression of each other. In this way the meeting stays open and honest, and both families know what it is about.

Going out on a date alone together is a different thing altogether. It puts two young people in a situation where feelings can quickly push clarity aside. Islam wants to protect the dignity and good name of both. That is why a man should not be alone with a woman who is not part of his close family, as the first hadith above shows.

When getting to know someone, it pays to look at the right things. Beauty, family and wealth play a part, but the second hadith advises looking above all at piety. A marriage that begins with openness, decency and the blessing of both families stands on firm ground.