How far may a mother interfere in her son's life?

A mother deserves love, gratitude and the best of treatment. But she may not change the teachings of God or ask her son to do wrong, for example to treat his wife badly. The measure is always justice.

Islam gives the mother a particularly high rank. The verse above recalls that she carried and nourished her child through hardship. The hadith above puts her first when it comes to good companionship. A son should therefore treat his mother with great love, respect and gratitude.

This honour does not mean, however, that a mother may decide everything. She should be treated well and honoured. But she has no right to change the teachings of God. She is not the lawgiver in her son’s life. She cannot, for example, make him treat his wife badly or deprive another person of their rights.

An example from the early days of Islam shows the right attitude. A young man accepted Islam while his mother clung firmly to her idols. She kept pressing him to give up his new faith. In the end he told her, with great love, how grateful he was to her and how much he respected her. But he would never give up his faith in the One God, whatever she did. After that she left him in peace.

So the deciding question is one of right and wrong. The second verse above demands that we hold firmly to justice, even against our own parents. When a mother speaks within the bounds of what is good, a son listens to her, even on matters such as choosing a wife. But when she demands something unjust, he may say no, kindly and firmly.

In this way both sides are protected. The mother keeps her dignity and her child’s gratitude. The son and his own family are protected from injustice.