Why do children of devout parents sometimes not become devout?

There is no single answer, because faith cannot be inherited and every child ultimately makes its own choices. A common reason, however, is that father and mother do not share the same faith and do not talk openly with each other about it.

Devout parents want nothing more than for their children to follow the same path. Yet it happens that a child turns away, even after growing up in a good environment. The Holy Qur’an does not hide this. Even a son of the Prophet Noah (as) did not follow his father. Faith is not an heirloom that is simply handed down. Every person has to accept it for themselves.

There is no answer that fits every family. The reasons differ from place to place and from home to home. One pattern, however, appears again and again. When the father is a believer and the mother does not share his faith, the children grow up between two worlds. If the father does not take his wife seriously and never really talks with her about faith, a silent gap opens up. The mother often spends most of the time with the children. She can quietly teach them that their father’s faith is wrong and that what he gives for it is wasted.

The children then often do not dare to speak openly with their father. Outwardly they follow him, inwardly they drift away. Where both parents believe with conviction and talk with each other, the children as a rule remain firm as well. That is why it matters so much to take one’s spouse seriously and to win them over to a shared faith with patience and respect.

There is also something very human at work. When one parent is strict and the other lenient, children often follow the easier path. So it is not enough to be devout oneself. The third verse above calls on believers to care for the whole family, through conversation, love and a shared example. In the end guidance lies in God’s hands, and parents may pray and hope for their children.