May one eat at memorial gatherings of other Muslims?

Food prepared in honour of deceased saints in order to please them is forbidden. With other memorial meals it is often unclear what they are intended for, so it is better not to eat from them.

In many Muslim countries there are memorial gatherings with food. Some take place on the third or fortieth day after a death, others in honour of well known saints. Whether one may eat there depends on what the food is intended for.

Some of this food is cooked for deceased saints, to please them or win their help. That case is clear. The verse above forbids what is dedicated to anyone other than Allah. A Muslim does not eat from it, because in everything he asks for he turns to God alone.

With other gatherings it is less clear. Often food is cooked simply because it is a tradition, without anyone thinking of a saint. But the occasions are so many and the intentions so varied that from the outside one can hardly tell what a particular meal is meant for. Finding out each time would be tiresome and often impossible.

In such situations the hadith above helps. Between what is clearly lawful and what is clearly unlawful lie doubtful matters. Whoever keeps away from them protects their faith. So there is no need to expose oneself to the risk of eating something wrong just because it is food.

This does not mean avoiding neighbours or relatives. One can remain friendly, comfort them and share in their grief. Only when it comes to the food is restraint the safe path.